My daughter came home talking about 'Mr Bumchin', on inquiry it turns out this was a teacher with a cleft chin, that is one of the inspirations for this particular story.
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‘Ouch! What did you do that for’
‘Who said that?’ Jelex looked all around her, into the lilly pillies at the bottom of the garden, at nutmeg the dog, towards the house; she could not see anyone.
‘I am down here Doofus!’
‘Doofus, who are you calling Doofus? Where are you?’
‘Look in the hole Doofus’
Jelex stepped back from the hole she’d been digging for the last several hours. It was deeper than she realised, her underground cubby idea was coming along tremendously. Mum and Dad were happy that she was outside. Meant they were doing boring adult stuff, newspapers, books, cleaning all that sort of droll.
The only problem now, was in her deeper than deep hole there was some sort of short, ugly man, not so much short as small. Short would be to say he was of diminutive human proportions, This guy was most definitely not a human.
‘What are you?’
‘What do you mean, what am I? Haven’t you seen a Bumchin before?’ The short little man thing looked indignant, if that is what she could call that look. He was a squat little thing, chubby legs, a round belly like her dad, maybe rounder if that was possible, broad shoulders, with a round head, wearing a plastic red fireman’s hat with a head torch on it.
‘Hey, That’s my head torch!’
‘Not anymore it ain’t kiddo! Anyway what are you doing digging holes into my home’
‘Your home? Who are you? What are you?’
‘I’m a Bumchin, I’ve already told you that. Now go away.’ With that, he was gone.
Frantically Jelex jumped into the hole, scratching away, dirt flying everywhere, her hands getting filthy, dirt under nails, in her hair. All to no avail the Bumchin was gone.
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‘Ouch! What did you do that for’
‘Who said that?’ Jelex looked all around her, into the lilly pillies at the bottom of the garden, at nutmeg the dog, towards the house; she could not see anyone.
‘I am down here Doofus!’
‘Doofus, who are you calling Doofus? Where are you?’
‘Look in the hole Doofus’
Jelex stepped back from the hole she’d been digging for the last several hours. It was deeper than she realised, her underground cubby idea was coming along tremendously. Mum and Dad were happy that she was outside. Meant they were doing boring adult stuff, newspapers, books, cleaning all that sort of droll.
The only problem now, was in her deeper than deep hole there was some sort of short, ugly man, not so much short as small. Short would be to say he was of diminutive human proportions, This guy was most definitely not a human.
‘What are you?’
‘What do you mean, what am I? Haven’t you seen a Bumchin before?’ The short little man thing looked indignant, if that is what she could call that look. He was a squat little thing, chubby legs, a round belly like her dad, maybe rounder if that was possible, broad shoulders, with a round head, wearing a plastic red fireman’s hat with a head torch on it.
‘Hey, That’s my head torch!’
‘Not anymore it ain’t kiddo! Anyway what are you doing digging holes into my home’
‘Your home? Who are you? What are you?’
‘I’m a Bumchin, I’ve already told you that. Now go away.’ With that, he was gone.
Frantically Jelex jumped into the hole, scratching away, dirt flying everywhere, her hands getting filthy, dirt under nails, in her hair. All to no avail the Bumchin was gone.
——-
‘Pssst!’
Jelex looked around, she looked over the railing at nutmeg, looking up from below waiting for the sport to start, waiting to see what would get lowered by rope from above; would it be a bone, a bottle, a ball, what would it be.
‘Psssst!’
No it was closer, Jelex looked towards the BBQ at the end of the veranda, the chair box she sometimes hid in.
‘Up here Doofus!’
‘Don’t call me doofus! Where are you?’
‘Shoosh, the big people will hear us’
Jelex looked up, there sitting on the cross beam of the verandah was the Bumchin. ‘What big people are you talking about?’
‘The big ones that yell at you all the time, Come Inside! Clean your room! Jelex. Jelex! JELEX! Those ones’
‘Oh there not here, just my sister, and she is on the computer with a headset on, they won’t hear us’
Deftly the bumchin swung from the beam by his stocky arms just for a moment, and then dropped to the floor on the verandah, barely a noise.
What ya’ doing kiddo?’
‘What’s your name?’
‘Are you teasing the dog? Oh I love teasing the dog, I do it all the time. We get to play for hours and hours, you leave her at home; we have a great old time.’ With that the Bumchin leapt up onto the table, across onto the rail, ran along it and jumped down into the garden. Running and tackling Nutmeg who happily pokey nosed him then chased him down the back yard and out of sight.
Jelex was amazed, she could never do what he had done, she’d get hurt if she jumped of their verandah, and she had never seen Nutmeg behave like that with anyone. Except her and her dad. Who? What? Was this Bumchin, why wouldn’t he tell her his name?
——-
‘Hey Doofus!’
‘Go Away, I don’t want to talk to you unless you tell me your name.’
The Bumchin stood looking at Jelex, sitting on her bed quietly. She had gotten in trouble for back answering her father and she was most definitely not in the mood for the Bumchin’s antics.
‘How’d you get in here, anyway?’
‘Oh that’s easy, I come in here all the time.’
‘How?’
‘If I tell you will you play with me?’
‘Ok’
‘Well, every morning you dad get’s up and goes down to iron a business shirt, he always opens the door for Nutmeg, says hello to her and then tells her to go wake your mum.’
‘Yeah, so how.’
‘Well he leaves the door open, you know fresh air and all, he shuts it before he comes upstairs. While he is ironing I sneak in behind him and make myself comfortable on the downstairs chairs until you go to work.’
‘I don’t go to work.’
‘Then why do you parents always start saying c’mon, and getting louder about stuff until you leave.’
‘Oh they have to travel to work or be in meetings, you know boring adult stuff.’
‘I am so glad I’ve never grown up.’
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